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I haven’t updated in a while.

School has been so busy and stressful lately. I have been on the verge of throwing in the towel and admitting defeat for a couple of weeks now. Now that I have student loans, quitting has become an impossibility for me financially and the only thing that keeps me going. I’m taking it day by day now with a whatever happens type of attitude.

Olivia and Jake had their physicals on Thursday. Jake is 32 lbs and 39 inches tall. Olivia is 16 lbs and 27 inches long. The pediatrician decided to tell me that it’s time to give up breastfeeding and give her formula based on her weight. I told him about her bottle issues and his response was “well thats from a lack of determination on your part”. What the hell is that? So now my pediatrician reserves the right to bash me too? I think not. Nothing like making me feel like I’ve been starving my child. I could write about this forever since it’s still a point of frustration but I wont.

Then the Mom’s board that I participate in has gone to hell in a hand basket. Feelings are hurt, people are frustrated and angry, and some have made the decision to leave. I’m so upset that things have come to this. I wish I could make it all better but I know I can’t. All I can do is hope that people reconsider and come back. In the midst of people leaving, you learn your importance or where you stand with them real fast. What a wake up call this has been for me. Things just aren’t what I thought they were and now I feel silly for my apparent disillusions.
Something has to give.